My journey from Hadleigh to the Vaudeville Theatre involves my taking the no 15 bus from Fenchurch St to the Strand. Now, often, the poor service offered by said omnibus in as much as buses running very late, changing destination halfway through the journey and ignorant, cocky drivers, has been the source of much anger and frustration to me, but on three occasions now I’ve had a really enjoyable ride.
The 15 route is one of the few that still uses the beautiful old Routemaster buses. I love it when I see that the bus coming towards me is one of these because it makes for a really nostalgic ride, taking me back to going to school and to piano lessons and shopping and Saturday job, all done on a Routemaster. All along the route tourists rush to the edge of the pavement to try to take a picture of their spouse/friend/child/parent/sibling in front of the bus. Elderly foreigners almost give themselves a coronary, running to catch it so they can boast to the folks back home that they rode on a Routemaster. These buses have a two-man crew and what has made my three journeys special is a certain bus conductress.
She’s a short lady with an African accent and I have never seen anyone so happy in their job!
She’s bossy, but always says “please” and then gives you a huge smile at the end of one of her commands. “Hold tight! Hold tight, please!” “Go upstairs quickly, please!” “Sit down! Sit down, please!” Watching her interact with foreigners is better than any TV show. Her way of dealing with them is to shout loudly, wave her arms and SMILE.
I watched her talking to an elderly Italian couple who were asking about fare prices.
MAN: You no ‘ave every day ticket.
CONDUCTRESS: Season ticket?
WOMAN: Not every day. All day ticket.
CONDUCTRESS: Yes. You buy Travelcard. All bus (arms waving in big circles, embracing the bus network). All bus. All bus. All city. Cheaper price. (finger and thumb rub together and a big SMILE).
On another trip an older, larger lady ran to catch the bus, clambering on with the little Conductress heaving her up under the arms and onto the platform while shouting “There we go! There we go!” and then announcing to the whole lower deck “She made it! She made it!” and then beaming at us all, inviting us to join in the celebration of the woman catching the bus.
Her laugh is infectious; her short braids jingle around her head and her eyes shine. I’m sure that half the foreigners who ask her questions don’t fully understand her reply, but because whatever she says is accompanied by much arm-waving and such a huge grin they get off the bus convinced they’ve understood her. She’s certainly brightened up my journeys and many of the surly, arrogant male drivers – many of whom barely speak English or make no attempt to understand anyone who speaks to them – could learn much from her.
Next time I’m on her bus I’m going to ask her name. And I’m going to write to Transport for London and tell them what a great asset to the company she is. After all, I complain about poor service so it’s only right that I give praise where praise is due.
And it wouldn’t be my blog without a whinge, would it? And today I have two. They shall be called from now on my Retailers’ Raspberries; the first goes to WH Smith who “offer you the choice” of paying 20p for a long-lasting back or 1p for a normal plastic bag. From now on I won’t be shopping there anymore. Yes I know that Clegg’s bringing in the 5p tax on a bag but by then I’ll have everything delivered. And my second Retailers’ Raspberry goes to Sancto Fancy Dress Shop in Southend, who refused to take back an item which I had the receipt for, I hadn’t opened and which they could have, therefore, re-sold. The shop assistant just stood there saying “It’s our policy not to take back goods.”
I know that probably by law they don’t have to, but, especially in a recession, how short-sighted is it not to? They could have given me a credit note but instead I got the needle-stuck recording “It’s our policy not to take back goods.” Well, it’s now also my policy to take my custom elsewhere.
And finally a huge CONGRATULATIONS! to the understudies who gave outstanding performances in the understudy run of the Ladykillers on Tuesday afternoon. Carol Dance, Blair Plant, Andy Ashford and Matthew Bunn, you nailed it! Well done! I love you guys!!
