Hello!   Yes, it’s me.  I know it’s been ages since my last blog post but there are reasons which I hope you’ll understand.

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I like to keep my blog writing-related as far as possible – although I know that I frequently wander into the realms of personal life and opinions.  And I’ve done very little writing lately.  That is partly due to the awful internet connection I’ve had over the last few months.  To say the service is abysmal is to be kind.  We had a power cut on 26th July which took out the internet.  But when it came back on about half an hour later, the internet wasn’t up to speed.  Since then it drops continually; sometimes after an hour or so, but often every minute or two.  It took the service provider, APUA, until today to come and fix it.  Today is 15th August.  And it still isn’t fixed.

“Oh, it keeps dropping every thirty seconds!” the technician exclaimed upon seeing it.  “Me tell you!” I replied.  He’s a bright boy.  He’s gone off and will bring another modem but that might not be tonight, so I probably won’t be able to post this until then, unless I get a connection that lasts for longer than a minutes.  It’s very frustrating!

Consequently, having no internet means I can’t Skype or FaceTime friends and family, which is making me feel isolated and in turn, sad.  And I’ve missed a couple of important Skype meetings, too, because of it.

I have a very unique way of writing; I research as I go, which means I’m continually Googling stuff.  Hard to do that when there’s no internet.  There are only so many markers you can put in your work to return to later.  So, I’ve given up even trying.

And then, the biggest problem I have is that I am having great difficulty selling Avocado Cottage.  I blogged about the nasty Canadian-Antiguans who kept me on a piece of string for four months then only admitted they didn’t want it when I had the nerve to ask them outright.  Then a Lovely Young Couple wanted it.  They applied to their bank and after two meetings were turned down for a mortgage.  They and I were disappointed in the extreme.  Then, as she’s a civil servant, they applied through a credit union (a sort of building society).  They were told they qualified for a mortgage and it would be a simple process.  After three weeks of gathering evidence, producing all sorts of documents, securing their deposit and getting a survey done, they were told last Friday the credit union only lends a certain amount for mortgages.  They couldn’t have said that three weeks ago?  A cloud of gloom descended.

The cottage is up with a local estate agent who held an Open House on Saturday, but all those interested need to sort out finance.  And I now know that’s not easy here!  I’ve started a Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/Avocado-Cottage-For-Sale-328791800881879/

It’s had loads of interest; many shares, comments, likes.  Even Richie Richardson – yes THE RR, the West Indies cricketer has commented (suggesting a put a Google map reference – good point!) – but once again, the viewings are from people who need to get a mortgage, most of whom haven’t got a deposit anyway.  Or, they make an appointment and then just don’t turn up!  And if a foreigner buys it they need an Alien’s Land Licence before they can sign the sale, which can take months.

So, I’m a little depressed…

And it’s very difficult to write when you’re not feeling on top of things.  At least, I find it so.  Much of how I’m feeling is down to not sleeping well.  I find I crawl into bed exhausted then crash into a coma for two hours, before I’ve even had chance to turn off the light.  However, I come round two hours later and then lie awake for the rest of the night with a head full of what-ifs.

I have loved coming to Antigua  – since 2003! – and having the house here for the last seven years.  I have met some dear, dear friends, who will forever be in my heart, not to mention the Fella, who I’ll miss more than words can say.  But it’s time to move on with the rest of my life and for that I need to be back in UK. One of those plans involves a very exciting writing project – a glorious ray of hope in all this gloom!!   (Hence the Skype meetings – see above).

But, to carry out the plans I have I need the money from the sale of Avocado Cottage.  I know that ‘What’s for you won’t pass you by”.  I just want it to be for me a little bit quicker.  And “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”  Universe, I’m strong enough now, thank you!

Added to which, The Daughter now lives two plane rides away, which is too, far.  And it’s more than four months since I last saw her – the longest we’ve ever been apart – and my heart just aches at the distance and separation and I am longing for the moment I can give her the biggest hug in the world.  I just miss her.  And The Sister and The Brother and so many of my friends.  And trying to FaceTime each other and getting cut off every 40 seconds is soooo frustrating!!

I have to say, though, that some people have been amazing, in my hour of need.  Without them I’d be starving to death and have the bailiffs looking for me.  It’s wonderful to know that they’ve rallied for me and helped me and I thank them from the bottom of my heart. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️  I am truly grateful.

At the weekend I went by one of my dearest friends, who invited me to lunch and we drowned our sorrows together and then cheered each other up and pushed and encouraged each other back into positive mindsets.  I was able to bawl my eyes out, too, which made me feel a whole lot better.

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And then driving home, it came over dark and started to rain heavily.  I suddenly turned my head to the right and there, in the field beside me was an enormous rainbow – my special sign from the Universe!  It was huge – a full arc – with bold, bright colours.  It was absolutely glorious.  It was so close I believed I could touch it.  It was a magical experience and I drove the rest of the way with a huge grin on my face.

I know every little ting’s gonna be alright.  But it’s hard not to worry.  And I need it to be alright very, very soon.

My good friend M is a Catholic and he is looking up the patron saint of properties and estate agents to offer up a candle to him or her.  Whichever deity you believe in, please remember me in your prayers.  Especially if you’re a reader of my books.  At this rate it’ll be 2020 before the next one is written!

Meanwhile, I’m stuck in Paradise.  I’m sure there’s a book in this…

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